Aesoph Group

By Rob Cahill

       In the fast-paced business world of today, your ability to secure durable agreements—internally and externally—may well prove to be the difference that distinguishes you from your competition. One of the things we impress upon groups and executive teams we work with is that lasting agreements result when you are able to achieve strong satisfaction in the following three domains: 

• Content satisfaction:  “I liked the outcome or decision.”

• Process satisfaction:  “I liked the process we used to reach the outcome or decision.”

• Psychological satisfaction:  “I liked how I was treated during the process.”

In our experience over three decades of working with groups and executive teams of all kinds, the place groups and teams usually are deficient in is the third dimension, psychological satisfaction. For this reason, senior people are forever perplexed that achieving content satisfaction alone is not sufficient for success.  It is a necessary ingredient, absolutely—but not sufficient. Again, it takes satisfaction in all three domains—especially the last one—to achieve lasting agreements.

To grasp the importance of this concept, think of all the teachers you had as a child. Some teachers understood the natural power position they held, and softened it with kindness and patience, while other teachers mishandled or lorded their power. Power hungry or impatient teachers always leave children with a lack of psychological satisfaction. You remember each one with a vengeful sort of glee, don't you?

A more recent example would be when you need to interact with customs agents to cross the border with a purchase. From the standpoint of negotiation, you are in a low position. You have little or no power, basically, and need to conform to whatever the rules are, and the customs agent is the arbiter of those rules. As you leave the border, you may be satisfied with the outcome, but you may or may not be pleased with how you were treated.

Another common example is the security checks endured at the airport. Despite the removing of belts and shoes and rummaged garments, most of those agents treat people quite well. Imagine however, if they didn’t treat you well. That's something you would not soon forget.

One last example, closer to home: when your spouse mentions that indeed you did attend the dinner out, or the vacation, but you weren’t really present. That’s a lack of psychological satisfaction. It isn’t something that's easy to express, but it also isn’t easily forgotten or overlooked. In other words, most people won’t tell you when they are psychologically dissatisfied. But you’ll know because soon after you turn your back, you’ll find that people are not honoring the spirit of the agreement. That’s probably because they didn’t catch the spirit in the first place.

Rob Cahill is a skillful facilitator and leads our customer research group.